Monday, August 07, 2006

When neural networks collide....

Unfortunately my total cessation of breastfeeding coincided with my monthly visit from my "aunt". Oh dear God what was I thinking. Thd hormonal double whammy. I mean I'm fine.I feel really great but weeped like an absolute child yesterday. I didnt cry I like weeped. Just once, yesterday morning. SOmething hit me hard and I lost it. I wasnt moody, sad or frustrated. I was fine in the moments preceding the tear fest. Jesus, I was in Target. Well I didnt cry at Target but in the moments before I was shopping ever so blissfully in Target. I bought a really cute rooster and an adoreable shovel for B for one dollar. I mean come on, cute stuff shopping, clearanced nonetheless? Who would have thought, moments later I'd be in the car crying over I dont even know what anymore. Rob said I looked a little off balance in Target. Something in my eyes looked wrong. OhmmyGod, that means I looked insane. Off balance? I felt good but he knew something was looming. I cannot believe the eye thing. He could see the psycho before I could. That's creepy. I should have cried in Target on Saturday. It was a SUperTarget and I was buying tons of gorceries,back to school socks, undewear, jeans, tshirts,supplies, and a new crockpot. The cart was stuffed and it was the weird cumbersome toddler cart. The Hummer of shopping carts well without the status. Just awkward and in my case, capable of inducing psychiatirc episodes. It was horrible, the list, all the sizes, the baby, the damn cart. At one point, I smelled P but I figured I would be checking out in a few minutes. I would change her then. SHe got a little squirmy so I picked her up. Then I realized "oh yeah she didnt poop yesterday". So two days of poopin all over her clothes, my clothes, my arm, the cart. No wonder I smelled her, it was seeping out of her shorts. SO fast forward to the half mile hike with poopy toddlet, cumbersome cart FULL of crap(literally and figuratively at this point)to the restrooms. DO I bring wipes? No. So after several minutes of wet papertowels on the most gluelike poop ever, we are done. We still smell and dont look too closely at our clothes but we are done. So I get in line and the person in front of me refuses to inch forward or put the bar thing down so I can start loading my groceries with one arm and an angry toddler on my hip. When I was getting ready to pay I thought to myslef, I just need to strap P in the cart, crying or not, so I can pay. She cried , wiggled and eventually half hangs out of the red cart. Its a low low seat and shes got the straps under her armpits. SHe's crying fiercely and doing the hanging and I am completely un aware UNTIL the lady from behind me runs forward to her and rescues her from the imaginary doom she was facing. I turn around and find this woman hastily saving my daughter. I fell into the drama too. Kissing P and apoligizing. When I say thank you to the overzealous lady. She doesnt say a word. THe lack of words said it all. Here I am trying to do my very best as a mom like I do everyday and this stranger treats me like I'm unfit. I dont know I thought it was mean. I would have said, "no big deal" and I would have smiled on purose just to make the mom feel better. And as far a s the other lady, I would have moved my butt up and put the bar down. .SO now I am SPENT. And it's 3 o clock, 117 degrees and I cant find my car. WHen I do find it I cant find my keys. I think I just figured out why I cryed on SUnday in the parking lot of Target and not Saturday. I had a flashback. The Sunday Target cued my brain into the horror show that was Saturday Target. When Target goes bad, it really goes bad.


At 9:52 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Oh man, there is something SO familiar about your overwhelmed moment. Been there, done that. I remember having to buy a new emergency outfit in Walmart because we had wicked-escaping-all-over-the-clothes-poo.

The woman who "rescued" your baby is a bitch. Enough said.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Tonya said...

Like you didn't have enough to deal with without the lady "helping" you with such a horrible attitude.

Karate Kid had such an explosive diaper at a restaurant one time that it ran all the way down the high chair and puddled on the floor before the smell hit us. He did it again the next time we went. I'm still amazed that particular restaurant ever let us darken its doors again.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Toasty said...

Ya know, Borders Book store used to induce a massive pooping session (with subsequent dash to bathroom)in my third child. I swear like three times in a row.... Huge poop a looza. I would love to see the surviellence tape. Like a video montage of me running to the ladies room and my husband laughing.


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